I woke up this morning with the question: "Can Empathy Save this Country?"
I was watching the PBS NewsHour with Jim Lehrer last night, which is something I do most nights, because I enjoy seeing both sides of an issue. I came to the conclusion that I was tired of all of the bad news, especially the "bickering" in Washington. I have better things to do with my time than to waste it on what I am telling myself is a "lost cause". I usually stay away from political issues because they seem so focused on strategies, whereas I am more interested in connection -- which requires that the strategies be laid aside for a while.
Letting go of the outcome is something that our culture does not teach, except perhaps in 12-step recovery and NVC circles. It is essential for the survival of this country that the people elected to office, connect to each other across the party lines. Otherwise, I think, we are doomed to failure -- Our 234 year experiment in democracy will go bankrupt -- both spiritually and financially.
I find it interesting that the Obama Administration got elected on a sound-bite of "Empathy" for the people they serve, but they don't seem to realize that it's also required with the people they serve with -- all members of Congress. Actually, it doesn't surprise me that the politicians I see on TV don't seem to know that Empathy is a process, and not a destination. Empathy is a process of discovering the heart needs of both sides of an issue while letting go of the solution. Empathy is a process where both sides get to speak their truth while the other listens for the heart needs of the other, and reflects back what they heard. At some point, they switch roles and the other side gets to speak while the other listens and reflects back what they heard.
I decided that it might be helpful to list some of the heart needs for Health Care Reform as I see them. Remember, at this point we are trying to connect to the heart needs on both sides, while letting go of the specific strategies to solve the issue.
The Republicans seem to want a place at the table, respect, to be heard, and to contribute to the health care process. Another way to say this is they want mutuality, to be treated with the same dignity as the Democrats treat each other. I have heard that they are concerned, perhaps even scared because they want to effectively utilize the resources available to them, the means by which this country is supported financially. I'm also guessing that they are afraid of loosing their own means for supporting themselves. The Republicans also want to matter, to have an impact and their part in helping this country succeed in meeting the needs of the people.
The Democrats seem to want to contribute more directly to the health and well-being of the people they serve. They are excited because they finally have a place at the table, have a chance to be heard, and to more directly contribute to the legislation that will serve to do so. They are also trying to balance needs, and to efficiently use the resources available to them -- the financial support that the government receives from the people. They are also trying to meet needs of responsibility, and integrity by clearly defining how they intend to pay for their health care strategy. I'm also guessing that they are afraid of loosing their own means for supporting themselves. The Democrats also want to matter, to have an impact and their part in helping this country succeed in meeting the needs of the people.
The heart needs that I have listed here are universal -- all human beings have these needs and values at one time or another. In my opinion, we could all benefit if individuals from both sides of the isle were to get together and go through the process of Empathy. Given that they don't have much experience in doing so, they would probably use some help from people who know how to facilitate Empathy.
My experience tells me that admitting that there is a problem, and asking for help is not something that comes easy, especially to elected officials. I, for one, would enjoy contributing to this dialog, and know of others that could help.
